Thursday, 29 March 2012

  • Oh wow has it been so long since I visited here!

    i guess it is because I as concerned or any of those D words that I addressed in that post from all the way in September.

    I have been working on my attitude towards school, homework and the lack of interest that the son shows to anything that is not Power Ranger- Samurai/Jungle Fury/Dino Thunder.

    I stop forcing him to do homework every evening.

    I also turn off the television during the week. So I am not all bad or good depending on the side you are viewing from.

    But I have been grappling with this thought for awhile.

    I love my son to bits

    I wouldn't have him any other way I think most days

    but if I am really honest with myself I would love him like this without autism.

    I really really wish I could take it away or fix it someway.

    there I said it.

    I feel bad that I think like this seeing that there is so many publicly opining that they would not  change their children with autism for all the tea in China. But if I could change certain things to make his life easier, happier and yes gasp more typically normal I would do it in a heartbeat.

    Yes chasing after that elusive magic changeitall pill!

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

  • D is the Letter of the Day.

    D is for :

    Desperate

    Despondent

    Disappointed

    Discouraged

    Disturbed

    Distressed

    Dismay

     

    All words that are milling around in my head and best describe how I am feeling now about my son and school and most especially getting him to do homework!

    I feel desperate everytime I see the amount of homework and the far away look that he gives me as we open the text books. Knowing that there is so much to do and he is not willing.

    With the new class, teacher, shuffle of the students and new shadow in the mix and knowing that he is in preparation to take exams I feel so despondent when he just doesn't have an answer for me that  i know he knows.

    So disappointed in me when I snap, yell and fail to encourage. And oh so more discouraged when I realise that geez he appears to forgotten so much.

    It is disturbing how behind he is. Filled with dismay I wonder- has it always been did way? How have I missed that he was struggling.

    I am distressed because I feel like I am sinking under the water- overwhelmed with what needs to be done.

    Maybe he feels this way too sad

Thursday, 06 January 2011

  • it is 2011

    Happy New Year

    2011 is upon us and as I look back I realise I was really very neglectful to this site.

     

    Oh well

    life gets in the way

     

    Looking forward to a year filled with communication and comprehension

    and hopefully a better way to handle homework

Thursday, 27 May 2010

  • Ramblings about Failing

    Some days (even though I know better) I feel as if I am failing my son!
    I am not doing enough.
    I give into the tears, the cryings and the wails and allow him to hide out in television land or with Thomas in computer land.
    I am afraid to
    I know that this is wrong as the transition from those two things cause even bigger/louder wailings.
    I wish I knew how to keep the tears away.
    I feel my heart breaking.
    I thought we were pass this stage... but no it looks as if we are there again.
    I need to change his supplements, check his diet. Is he cheating and I don't know
    Sigh the frustration of this thing they call autism
    It is always a one foot forward as the other foot tries to go in the opposite direction.
    BUT
    I will only give myself this time to be melancholy...
    AND
    I  will choose to act instead of feeling sorry for me.
    Sigh

Friday, 30 April 2010

  • In the land of the Wiggles.

    Let me tell you right now that television is a big no no if you want to reach your child. Whether neuro-typical or on the spectrum. This is my son's Occupational therapist pet peeve. I agree with her and I try to limit television as much as I can and I have been fortunate that my son is good once I hide the remote.

    Now that I have put in the disclaimer.

    I credit a lot of my son's words, play and actions to television with particular bias to the teletubbies and the Wiggles. I nearly cried the first time I realized that he was reacting and responding to something that he saw on teletubbies. The Wiggles introduced singing to him and he is such a singer. He never followed the dancing or actions but he would sing the songs with me after and it would make my heart sing :) Fast forward five years and I did cry to see my son dancing to the Wiggles. It was silly of me, because I have seen him perform fearlessly and wonderfully at school concerts and plays before.... but to see him dance the Wiggles was amazing simply because it was something I had been trying to get him to do for years.

    So like with everything else I am here to attest that television can be used to your advantage when it is used in small doses, because it just may be the one thing that gets your sweet child moving.

    ( Now he is inspired by Yo Gabba Gabba, deal or no deal, family feud, catch 21 and Iron chef. oh and even though he is nine Wiggles still makes is top ten lol)